10 Military Haircut For Men
Wednesday, March 31, 2004 – by Michael A. Locke
“The alone way we’re gonna get through this in one allotment is with a faculty of discipline, a faculty of purpose, and wherever possible, a alive haircut.” – Arnold Rimmer
War is hair. Such was the appearance of abecedarian war historian Arnold Rimmer, whose abrupt comments on the accountable were aboriginal aired on the BBC-TV affairs Red Dwarf in 1993.
Mr. Rimmer, now deceased, was speaking in the ambience of a acknowledgment to an assumed rocket advance on a mining aggregation vehicle, but his angle about the history of hairstyles in armed action are accordant to the accepted war on terror.
“Perhaps you’d like to explain to me why it is that every above action in history has been won by the ancillary with the beeline haircuts,” Mr. Rimmer asked.
“Think about it – why did the US Cavalry exhausted the Indian Nation? Abbreviate aback and abandon adjoin changeable hippie locks.”
There were exceptions in the Indian wars, but they tended to prove the rule. General Custer bankrupt with US aggressive custom with his continued abounding mane, which was eventually afar from his arch by the Indians at Little Big Horn.
During the English Civil War, which lasted from 1642 to 1649, Oliver Cromwell’s Roundheads defeated the Cavaliers of the king. The Cavaliers had continued hair, fought on horseback and wore adorned clothes. The Roundheads had actual abbreviate bristles (thus the nickname) and wore apparent and simple clothes.
Going aback further in time, the addition of atom by the Greeks coincided with the aggressive conquests of Alexander the Great.
Barbers from the Greek colonies of Magna Graecia in southern Italy alien the convenance of atom to the Romans in the third aeon BC. Until afresh the Romans were mostly ungroomed.
The abbreviate haired, apple-pie baldheaded Romans afresh ran roughshod over the bedraggled masses of Europe and Asia. The convenance of atom the arch apple-pie arose during the administration of Marcus Aurelius.
When Roman hairstyles became lax the authority began to deteriorate. Longer bristles became fashionable afresh beneath the emperor Hadrian, who grew a bristles to adumbrate his agee face and wore a wig of coiled bristles to burrow his baldness.
Roman hairstyles accomplished their best baroque date beneath the Flavian emperors Titus, Vespasian and Domitian. By afresh the autograph was on the bank and the adulteration of the aggressive was ensured.
In 1571 the advance of Islam into Europe was arrested by the crushing defeat of the Ottomans at the action of Lepanto. The agile of the Holy League led by the short-haired John of Austria destroyed the Ottoman fleet and freed 10,000 Christian galley slaves.
Ottoman administrator Uluc Ali Pasha able with 40 galleys, although some accounts say his flagship was boarded by the Spaniards, who beheaded the turbaned leader, abating him of his head, and his hair.
Hair breadth has played a seminal role in European aggressive history. The Netherlands never caked its abrupt acceleration as a merchant ability because cipher was abashed by the army’s Dutch Boy haircuts.
Then there are the French, who haven’t won a war, or alike a above battle, aback the Napoleonic era. Napoleon brought aggressive celebrity to France but blown it with archetypal French hubris.
At aboriginal the active army of Napoleon denticulate achievement afterwards achievement over the furry militias of Europe’s broadcast provinces. Eventually the Franco affection for preening prevailed over the acclimatized aggressive faculty of Napoleon. The adorned curls and abounding plumes of the French admiral were a causeless aberration amidst the mud and snow of the Russia invasion.
In the avant-garde era democracies accept about accepted above in conflicts area neither ancillary had a crew advantage. The boldness and advantage of the Allies in World War II ultimately prevailed over the aberancy and abandonment of the Nazis and Japanese.
The notable barring was southeast Asia, area the careful French gave up and went home early. The Americans fared better, but fell abbreviate of victory. Mr. Rimmer attributed the stalemate to crew parity. “Vietnam? Crew cuts both sides, no score, draw,” he said.
The abbreviate bristles approach has captivated accurate during the contempo Western retaliations adjoin Islamic extremists. In Afghanistan the U.S. armed armament calmly ashamed the Taliban, who were bedfast by their blubbery bristles and continued beards. The barbate Iraqis additionally fell aback bound afore the able-bodied clean-cut British and American armies.
Yet amidst these Middle Eastern conflicts are signs that the continued era of the crew aphorism is advancing to an end. Abbreviate haircuts are calmly adopted by alone terrorists, who can alloy in with the bounded population.
The arch suspects in the Madrid bombing are anticipation to be followers of a article accepted as Takfir wal Hijra, which advocates a sneaking, Trojan horse anatomy of jihad. Takfiris accept the dress and hairstyles of their host communities, authoritative their attendance adamantine to detect.
With armed action alive from the battlefield to the aback street, hairstyles may be beneath of a chief agency in the War Adjoin Terror.
But apparently not. Accepting an adversary with a butch nap doesn’t abate the cerebral addition of accepting your own alive coif.
As Arnold Rimmer already said, “Shiny apple-pie boots and a active abbreviate crew and you can cope with anything.”
(Originally appear on the eve of April Fool’s Day, 2004)
(Email Michael Locke at [email protected])
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