10 Classic Crew Cut
When we asked readers for their admired “dad jokes,” we got the classic, goofy, automated responses that kids of all ages accept developed to apperceive and, um, love.
We additionally got longer, appropriately asinine jokes that bodies bethink audition over and over again.
And poignantly, we accustomed jokes that are remembered affectionately by bodies whose fathers accept anesthetized away.
We achievement you adore the laughs, acquaint a few of your own, and acknowledge the jokers in your own activity today.
My dad acclimated to say, “ I don’t apperception actuality on a alike back it is my time to die. I aloof don’t appetite to be on a alike back it’s the pilot’s time to die.”
Barbara Sallettes, New Orleans, for dad Peter J. Sallettes Jr.
Did you apprehend about the two guys who got bent for burglary a calendar? Yeah, they anniversary got six months.
— Ryan Green, Covington (the dad)
Joke from Chuck Felder, of Slidell, who was baldheaded on top (died at age 81)
“Yes, I accept a aggregation cut. But the aggregation bailed out!”
— babe Marilyn Carleton, Abita Springs
Whenever we asked my dad, Henry Van Den Akker, area he was going, he would say, “Crazy, wanna appear wit’?”
— Nancy C. Van Den Akker, New Orleans
My father, Charlie “Beetsie“ Rainey (1939-2014), admired this one, told in a slight Yat accent:
What do you alarm a deer with no eyes?
Answer: No idea!
What do you alarm a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Answer: Still no idea.
— Mike Rainey, New Orleans
Me: “Hi, Daddy. How are you feeling?”
Dad: “With my hands.”
That was EVERY time I asked!
— Elaine LaNasa Yuratich, New Orleans, babe of Dr. Marion LaNasa
Whenever it would rain, my dad, Nicholas Compagno Sr., would say “I achievement the rain keeps up.” My brother Frank and I would ask why and he would reply, “So it won’t appear down.”
When we would acquaint him about article we anticipation was extraordinary, he would say “Why, that’s nothing, I already saw a horsefly over the river.”
And, back we would canyon a cemetery he would ask, “Do you apperceive how abounding bodies are asleep in that cemetery?” Answer: “All of them.”
— Nicholas Compagno Jr., Kenner
My dad acclimated to acquaint people, “My kids aren’t abashed of assignment … they will lay bottomward appropriate on the ancillary of it and go to sleep.”
—Joe Spitale, Kenner
My dad was Fernando Prieto. Whenever we would say, “We’re activity to get a haircut,” he would consistently say, “Why don’t you get them all cut?” To this day, back I acquaint my bedmate or grandchildren that saying, they aloof cycle their eyes. I still like to say it and bethink my dad adage it.
— Lorraine Prieto Kraus, Metairie
My dad, Arthur V. LaPorte Sr., admired to acquaint jokes, abnormally at ancestors gatherings. The alone botheration was that, as he got older, he tended to acquaint the aforementioned few jokes over and over.
When he began call an old favorite, addition in the army would arrest him by calling out, “No reruns!” And he would stop.
Not to be denied his time onstage, he began prefacing anniversary antic with the phrase, “If you accept heard this one, don’t stop me! I appetite to apprehend it afresh myself.” We were blessed to oblige.
Dad anesthetized abroad years ago. But wouldn’t it be abundant to apprehend one added echo of his admired “oldie?”
— James LaPorte, New Orleans
Dad: Did you apperceive Cher has a twin?
Dad: She does. They’re alleged Cher and Cher Alike.
— Jack Quarles Jr., from babe Vanessa Quarles, New Orleans
Q: Area would you booty addition who got afflicted arena “peekaboo?”
— Jim Currie, Mandeville
My dad, Frank Latore, was a jokester.
His admired band was, “Did you apperceive that I am accompanying to Frank Sinatra? I am Frank-not-so-hotra.”
— daughter Donna Nassar
The antic came to me from my academy roommate’s father, Seth Ward, of Little Rock, Arkansas
What’s the aberration amid actionable and illegal?
Unlawful is adjoin the law. Actionable is a ailing bird.
— Laura Claverie, New Orleans
I am appointment a accurate story. We were reorganizing the freezer to accomplish allowance for 27 pounds of blueberries that we picked, back we begin a half-empty bag of arctic blueberries from aftermost year. What happened?
It got berried. (Buried, get it? ha-ha!)
— Mark Grin, New Orleans
What did the monkey say back he appendage was cut off?
“Won’t be continued now!”
Brian Ferrara, from babe Elizabeth Kraft, New Orleans
So my acquaintance said he saw my dogs block two policemen on bikes … my acknowledgment was, “That’s ridiculous!! My dogs don’t alike OWN bikes!”
— George Boudreau, from babe Danielle Miller, New Orleans
My dad, Bishop Roy E. Matheney, was a pastor, and he would occasionally bandy this in the average of his message: “You can accept added degrees than a thermometer and still be off!”
— Robert Matheney, M.D., New Orleans
See that cavern in the street? They are activity to ample it the abutting time it rains!
— Rene Corcoran Sr., from Pat Rome
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